I need inspiration .

Yeap , I need inspiration to blog . I have a lot in my mind right now and I just can't think . Well , basically there's tons of things in my mind and I need to get them out because it's making me moody , hot tempered , and being all emotional . So here goes my story .

Firstly , I feel bad for making the wrong decision before this . I mean being in a relationship with someone whom I know I'm not ready for . Well , then to know that he actually is not ready too . Basically , I'm not sure if he truly wasn't ready or just to cover the sadness in his heart . And now , we barely talk or even making any eye contact . So yea , that's one thing that is on my mind . And by typing it here , somehow , I don't really feel relieved .

Secondly , I have made someone close fight because of a misunderstanding . Well , I didn't realized I did that . I just realized after that one person told me why she fought with the other person . So basically , I feel bad you know but I'm trying to clear that person whom is innocent . I'm sorry syg . But what I told my pet brother is not wrong right ? Because I told him those things because it's true . Not because I made it up . But anyway , I hope by tomorrow everything will be fine . I'll try to clear your name so that you and her can be close as normal . I do not mind if she wants to marah me , because what I did is what I knew . So yea .

Thirdly , this is sort of personal . No one knows except for one person . But I don't intend on writing it here . So yea , this is very personal . So once , I feel that it's no longer personal , I'll post it up here . I hope you guy understand .

But whatever it is , those are some of the things that are going up spinning in my mind . There's lots more but I just don't feel like typing it all here . So yea , I'll update about my Fathers Day celebration later . I'm too tired to update bout that . Am too sleepy . So yea , I'll go take a nap and I'll update about it later yea . :)

Days

Okay , lets see. I haven't been updating my blog lately . I mean , I update it but not like really really update it . I don't really give out the details right ? alaa , paham2 ah . but anyway , I wanna tell you bout my weekend ( friday and saturday ) . Here goes the story .

Well , it was Friday the 13th . So Tiqot had planned something last month that we should ALL hang out and just ... HANG OUT ? hahah , anyway , I went to Taipan at 3.30pm . Had a late lunch with my siblings and mom . They ate la . Mummy and I just watch cause we've already eat . Then met Fajran bla3 .. I think I've update bout the time we were at Taipan , right ?

Then , that night , Tiqot , Qairul , Fajran , Yudesh , Kai Yuen , and ramai lagi went to Carlos . We hang out , shisha . I met AHBEAR ! :) rinduuuu! Then , I told him the story bout me and you know who from A to Z . Then he as a big brother to me gave me advices that I really really needed . Then I all just hang out and talk . laugh laugh laugh . haha , it was seriously fun . We should do it often . Well then , I went back home around 10.40pm. Mummy picked me up .

Okay , here's the story of Saturday the 14th . I woke up at 9am . Tiqot , her mom and her sis picked me up . Then we went to Melur . Met Fajran there . Then we went to The Curve. hmm . Then we walked and then Tiqot and Fajran played Pool . hahahah! Fajran is quite good in it . But tiqot ? hahahahha! ;p Well , then we watch movie . Kungfu Panda . :D hahaha , that movie is ohsoCUTE ! Then the movie finished at around 2.30pm ? Then we went to Big Apple . haha , Then balik . OH! before the movie , Tiqot Fajran and i went to take pictures at the sticker booth . hahaha , SUMPAH FUNNY gila that time . But it was seriously FUN ! :) First time we hang out just the 3 of us . :')

Then I reached home around 4.30pm. My family and I had late lunch . Then we just talk and talk . Somehow it was fun . hehe , but it's normal. we always do that . ahah! Then at 5.30pm ALL of us slept . HAHA ! we were all too tired . Daddy slept in the room. So did angah and ayom . Mummy and I slept downstairs . They all woke up I don't know what time . ahhah , but I woke up at 7.25 pm. haha

Then , at 7.50pm , Mummy , Daddy , Ayom and I went to Anjung Merah II with my grandparents (Father's side) for a early fathers day celebration because we're not free during fathers day . So yea, we ate and just talk . OH! Ayom made a new friend . hahaha! A 5 year old girl . She's so CUTE and ADORABLE ! :) Well , then at 10 pm Daddy and Mummy send Ayom and I to Carlos . haha! It was seriously fun you know . NOT ! hahah , okay I was being sarcastic bout the Carlos fun part . haha , it was kinda boring . Because it was just the 2 of us and we just hang out for like an hour ? haha , then the part where we went back home is the funny part . But I can't type it here due to certain reasons . So , If you're too desperate to know , ask me in person k . hahahah! ;p

Well now , I'm here doing this . hahah! OH! Most of my friends now have blogs . haha , cool ah? ;p Anyway , it's already 1.33am . And I have to wake up early to wash the cars . Then tomorrow , well actually today , we're going out for dinner at Sheraton Subang with my mothers side . :) Can't wait . But then , the next day is school . haih , boring . BUT ! I get to see TASHA ! yeaaaay ! :D Oh, I'll post the pictures from The curve once I've upload it up to my laptop aite . Tiqot and Fajran , SABAR ! hahahah ;p

So yea,
till next time . You know you love me , xoxo ..

Boring .

There's nothing much for me to blog and I know I haven't been blogging for few days . Well , it's because , there's NOTHING TO SAY ! hahaha . But TASHA'S BACK !! Yeay ! I miss her so so so much and and I'm seeing Khaleesa this Sunday for dinner . DOUBLE YEAY! hahahah . I miss them so much man ! Only God knows .

Anyway , I was on diet and I still am . But I don't think I can survive not eating rice for 1 whole month . So I decided to make a new diet plan . I only eat rice once a day and only A LIL ! So either I eat rice for lunch or dinner la . And I go to the sauna everyday for half an hour . Trust me ! I feel good even though some of my friends said I didn't loose any weight pon . But just sabar la ! Baru berapa hari . hahha!

So , yea . I still am on a diet . Anyway , I went to Taipan Mc'd today . (Damn long since I went there with my friends) Well , at first I went to Sunway College with Mummy to pick up my sisters . Then we went lunch at Korean BBQ . I didn't eat because I've ate at home . Then , I went to Mc'd with Fajran , Helmi , Qairul , Yudesh , Fero , Fero's sister and others la . I went back home around 5.55pm . hahah! Because I'm planning to go out again tonight so have to balik awal la right .

So yea , am going to Carlos tonight with Tiqot Qairul and others . Hopefully , I'll have fun . Much more fun then I had just now . hahahaha , I've been kinda stress out lately so yea . I wanna just have fun and be FREE ! :)

Till next time , you know you love me . xoxo ..

Didn't go to school today

Today I didn't go to school because I woke up late . At first , I woke up at 6.45am and I replied Wei Ling's message . Then I decided to sleep for another 5 minutes but then I ended up sleeping until 11 something . hahaha , but who cares , Mummy pon tak marah . But then I feel guilty la didn't go to school because it's only like the 2nd day of school after holidays you know . But WHATEVER . hahaha .

Anyway , nothing much happened today . I woke up then I online for a while . Then I went into the Sauna . :) hehehe , I didn't eat much . Just a lil but sadly I'm HUNGRY NOW ! :( But WHATEVER ! hahaha . Well , then I chatted with Tiqot for a while . hahaaha , I have no idea what to blog now . Oh, I finished my History chapter 4 notes . I have 1 chapter to go . I'm sure Pn.Noraini's gonna check our notes tomorrow . So i better get to it .

Until next time , You know you love me . xoxo ..

Surveys

Tagged by Tiqot,

Do you love the person you are sitting next to ?
No one is sitting next to me .

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
Who did I last kissed ?

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
hmm , online ?

Honestly, who was the last person to tell you that they love you?
Tiqot .

Last restaurant you went to?
Picolo Mondo ?

Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
A friend of mine you all don't need to know.

Did you have an exciting last weekend?
Not really , but it was okay .

Have you ever crawled through a window?
yea , hahaha .

What do you spend most of your money on?
I don't really like to spend my money until i collect it to the amount I wanted . :)

Where were you at 1AM sunday morning?
At home ?

Ever kissed someone over 30?
Mummy ? Daddy ? Tok ma ? Tok pa ?

Is there a secret you've never told your parents?
hahaha , who doesn't.

Do you like yourself?
Very much indeed . hahha

Have you ever dyed your hair?
Yes , few years back .

Are you wearing a necklace?
nope , not right now .

Who is someone you wish you could fix things with?
No one . hahaha , not that I can think of now.

Is there anything in your past that you'd like to try again?
Oh apparently , no. I'm glad with what i am and what I have now.

What's something that can always make you feel better?
Friends ? Chocolate ? hehe , :)

Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?
Nope , never had a picture .

How's your heart lately?
So so.

Will this weekend be a good one?
yes , I'm gonna meet my cousins!

What do you want rightn ow?
Money ? hehe .

Who can always cheer you up?
Family and friends .

Who hugged you last?
Eerm , don't know.

Has someone ever spread a nasty rumor about you?
YES ! haiih .

What is your relationship status?
Single :)

Who was the last person to come to your house?
No one .

Look behind you, what do you see?
Kipas and kotak and dvds

How many rooms does your house have?
5 including maids room.

Have you ever worked in a food place?
nope.

What did you eat for lunch today?
nothing. I'm on a diet .

The last song you heard?
can't recall .

What do you think of love?
it's complicating .

Do you still talk to any of your ex's?
Yea . :)

If you had to eat 1 thing for the rest of your life, what?
I don't know la. you tell me .

Do you eat junk food everyday?
Not really .

Describe your bestfriend?
Tiqot , Tasha , Teyra, Qairul , Wei Ling , Sha , Araff , Fajran , Radhi , Yudesh . hahaha , you guys describe la sendiri .

How late did you stay up last night and why?
till 1 am ?

Do you like someone?
Not really . haha I'm not so sure.

Have you ever kissed someone whose name started with an S?
hmm , Sha ? hehe .

How's your life lately?
Complicating , tiring , dull .

Have you ever dated someone longer than a year?
NOPE ! :(

Do you think that you’re a good person?
Oh , I know I am . hahahaha! ;p

Are you happier single or in a relationship?
more to single for now .

Have you ever flirted with a friends crush?
I'm not a betrayer .

Last time you ate a homegrown tomato?
errr , I don't like tomatoes .

Do you hate the last girl you were talking to?
NOPE ! haha , I love her .

Whose bed did you sleep in last night?
My bed . hahaha , my tilam actually .

Have you kissed anyone in the last week?
Nope . hahaha

Do you miss anyone?
TASHA & KHALEESA !

What are you listening to?
watching Gossip Girls .

Is there one place you'd like to visit?
Yes , too many to list down .

Have you held hands with anyone today?
not really . hahaha

Seven days from now will you be in a relationship?
OH I don't think so . I'm not ready .

How many different people of the opposite sex have you cried over?
haa , tatau la.

What are your plans for the weekend?
celebration for Fathers Day and Tok ma's birthday . :) Can't wait !

What do you notice first about a guy?
height ! hahaha ;p

Where is the person you like right now?
Who do I like ?

What were you doing at 8:00 this morning?
Sleeping .

Do you like where you live?
YES ! very much .

Did you have a good birthday this year?
aww yea . :)

Are you tired right now?
Not really .

What are your outlooks on gay/bisexual relationships?
heh ? aha

Do you chew on your straws?
hahaha ;p err , yeap.

Three days from now will you be in a relationship?
NO! I'm not ready la dumb dumb !

Do you have curly hair?
sometimes . hehe

Who was at your house last?
no one .

Last person you cried over?
breaking off with him and knowing that he wasn't even ready to have a relationship :'(

Do you cry easily?
sadly , yea.

Do you have any brothers?
nope . my guy best true friends are my brothers . :)

What do you think of them?
They're the best !

What should you be doing right now?
Doing my homework .

Are you a heavy sleeper?
hahaha kind of

Name everyone that made you smile today?
My mummy , my two cats cassie and siren .

Who was the last person to put their arm around you?
Can't really recall

Three feelings at the moment?
Moody , confused , frustrated !

Who were the last people you ate with?
Alone .

What really makes you mad?
Many to list down .

What does the seventeenth text message in your inbox say?
none of your business

Do you want to be married right now?
NO !

What do you usually do first in the morning?
school days , mandi . Holidays , depends on my mood .

Do people underestimate you?
Yea , most of them .

What's something you're scared of?
Rumors :(

Name some of the people you love?
too many people .

What's your favorite color?
banyak la !

Are you usually the heart breaker or the heart broken?
most of the time is heart broken .

Do you belive that what comes around goes around?
yea .

Who was the last person you were mad at?
HIM

Do you give out second chances too easily?
not really . If that person cheats on me , HELL NO! cause , once a cheater always a cheater . But if that person lied to me , then it depends .

Who do you want to tag?
Khaleesa , Shar , Shaf , Diha .

That feeling , I hate .

Yep , i hate to have this feeling . It's not my 1st time . It's my 2nd time . And trust me , this time is WORST . haih . I don't want to hurt your feelings and I don't intend to do it anyway . I don't regret getting together with you but I don't want to hurt you and I do not want to hurt myself again too . I'm only thinking of what's best for both , you and me . And I'm not only thinking about my happiness . I don't mind getting hurt because I'm used to it , but I know and totally know that you're not used to it . I'm sorry if I'm the worst girlfriend ever but trust me , sooner or later you'll thank me for making it over now rather then later . Because I can bet you that you deserve someone better . You deserve to be treated right . Trust me . I've said once that I can't promise you my heart/love but I can promise you I'll try . And guess what , I've tried my best and seriously my very best . But i don't think it will work out .

I don't like to be in a relationship where I know it won't last long . I mean , I know everything is in God's hand . But I know if I have this feeling , it wont last long . I've been through it and I don't say myself a PRO in this kind of situation but I can say I have experience in this moment . I seriously want to be friends with you . Friends like how I am with other guys . I want to be like that with you whom I can tell everything to but I just know that if we're together , I won't be able to be myself . Because I'm not sure of my feelings . Get it ? Who cares if you bloggers do not understand what I mean , as long as I myself understand .

Well , I hope and I wish things wont change between us (although I know that it will) But I just hope that it wont . because I truly care about you . I can't say that I love you but I can say that I care about you . But I just don't know what to do now other than just saying it to you . but i don't want you to hate me as I will feel guilty of what I did . But trust me , my dear this is the best thing to do right now . Like what people always say , If we are meant to be together , then some day we WILL be together . It's just the matter of time . and I just hope you understand that because I totally agree with that . If we are meant for each other , we will someday . Maybe not now or some time soon , but who knows we'll be together some time in the future , right ? I just hope you'll understand .

I can say that , you are a great guy and a girl would be really really lucky to have you as their boyfriend , but I guess it's just not me . Maybe it's karma ? I don't know . but what I know is , I CARE ABOUT YOU and I don't want you to hate me as I don't hate you in any way . In fact , I do like you but maybe its just a crushcrushcrush ? who knows right . Only God knows because I myself do not know what my feelings are right now . :( I'm too tired being like this . AGAIN ! I had my freedom for almost 9 months but I didn't know that I'll miss those days , those freedom so badly . I'm not saying I'm bored here , but I'm saying that I just care about you too much that's why I HAVE to break it off .

Trust me , it's not about other guys nor about what others think . But it's because of what I think . I'm happy , yes . But not as much as how I was having the freedom before we met . Sorry , I know that's kinda harsh but it's the truth . And I don't like to lie nor to be lied to . I've been lying to myself for quite some time , and I'm done with that . I don't want to lie again . I've had enough . I'm sorry . But trust me , all I can say it , don't be sad , I should be the one who's sad , because it's my lost to lose you . You don't lose a single thing because I'm not even a good person , to tell you the truth . I know you are and that why I said it's my lost and not yours .

Gosh ! I seriously cried doing this blog . But anyway , I hope you understand (it's not like you even read this , but who knows . you might read it someday) So yea, I hope you understand my situation . I have lots in my mind and trust me , i have to get things screwed back together first before I can do any serious relationship . I'm sorry .

To all you bloggers , do give comments on what you think I'm doing is right or wrong .